Bringing the Body Back to Safety (Part 2)
In my previous blog post, I explored how our nervous system can sometimes respond to present situations as though an old threat is still present. Understanding this can help us to feel less confused or frustrated by our reactions, yet the question remains:
"What can I do when this happens?"
Many of us instinctively try to fight our reactions. We tell ourselves to stop worrying, think differently or to get over it. Whilst these responses are understandable, they often work against what our nervous system is trying to do—to protect us. If our body believes there is danger, it is unlikely to feel reassured because we tell it there isn't.
Therefore, rather than fighting our reactions, it helps to begin to learn how to work with them—and with our bodies.
Beginning With Awareness
When we become triggered, it can be easy to get swept away by what is happening. Before trying to change anything, it can be helpful to pause and simply observe. You might gently ask yourself:
What is happening in my body right now?
What emotions am I experiencing?
What thoughts are showing up?
What does my nervous system seem to believe is happening?
Often, the simple act of noticing creates a little more space between us and our reaction. This pause can help us to respond intentionally, rather than being swept along by our automatic reactions.
Befriending the Body
Many people develop an adversarial relationship with their bodies. We become frustrated with anxiety, tension, panic, shutdown or overwhelm, wishing these reactions would simply disappear. As discussed in the previous blog, from a nervous-system perspective, these responses are often the body's attempt to protect us. Therefore, rather than asking,
"How do I get rid of this?"
we might instead begin asking,
"What might my nervous system reacting to right now?"
This simple shift moves us from self-criticism towards curiosity and compassion.
Regulation Before Reasoning
When we are highly activated, the thinking parts of our brain often become less available. This is why reasoning with ourselves or trying to think positively sometimes feels ineffective. Our body may first need help returning to a greater sense of safety before our thinking mind can fully come back online. Therefore, rather than beginning with our thoughts, we may first need to support our nervous system.
When We Feel Hyper-aroused
Hyper-arousal is associated with anxiety, panic, overwhelm, irritability or feeling constantly on edge. When our nervous system is in this state, it often benefits from experiences that communicate safety and calm to the body. This might involve:
slowing and deepening the breath (see blog)
grounding through the senses (see blog)
spending time in nature
listening to calming music
gentle self-soothing (see blog)
The aim is not necessarily to make the feeling disappear, but to help the nervous system gradually receive the message that it is safe enough to begin settling.
When We Feel Hypo-aroused
At other times, we may feel numb, disconnected, fatigued, withdrawn or emotionally flat. We might struggle to concentrate, feel detached from ourselves or lose motivation. In these moments, the nervous system may benefit from gentle activation rather than further slowing down. This might involve:
going for a walk
gentle stretching or rhythmic movement
humming, singing or yawning
EFT tapping
eating or drinking something with a strong flavour (such as mint, citrus or ginger)
smelling a strong, pleasant scent, such as peppermint or lavender
splashing cool water on your face or holding a cool drink
The aim is to gently bring energy and engagement back into the system without overwhelming it.
Regulation Before Reasoning
When we are highly activated, our thinking brain often becomes less available. This is why logical arguments with ourselves can sometimes feel ineffective. Before trying to assess the present situation or gently challenge our thoughts, it can be helpful to first focus on regulation. When the body feels safer, we often find it easier to think more clearly, and assess the situation and to what extent the threats are there.
Whilst insight is valuable, our nervous system often changes through experience rather than understanding alone. Each time we experience safety, connection, compassion or support whilst feeling vulnerable, we provide our nervous system with new information. Over time, these experiences can help build a greater sense of internal safety, gradually updating the original message that a particular situation or stimulus is threatening. In doing so, the nervous system can begin to recognise that the present may be safer than the past, helping us build resilience over time.
Closing Thoughts
Learning to work with our nervous system is often a gradual process that requires patience and a gentle commitment to helping our bodies feel calmer and safer. There is no single technique that works for everyone. Part of learning to work with our nervous system is discovering what helps us, as individuals, experience greater safety, regulation and connection.
As we continue bringing awareness, compassion and safety to our experiences, little by little, the nervous system can begin to learn that the present is not the past, and that safety may be more available than it once believed.
If you find these reactions overwhelming or difficult to navigate alone, working with a therapist can provide a safe and supportive space to understand your experiences, gently regulate your nervous system and develop new ways of responding. If you would like to explore this together, I would love to hear from you.
